Nightmares
by gentlewinnix
Summary: Dick has a nightmare, and Lew is there to comfort him. Winnix.


**Author's Note: **Another story I found in my drafts folder! I believe that this was actually the very first Band of Brothers fanfiction I wrote, from November 2015. I've edited it into something a little neater than it was.

* * *

Lew wakes up to a low whine in his ear. He rolls over groggily, his mind working to process the situation through a haze of exhaustion. He manages to read the time off of the grandfather clock; sees that it's only two in the morning. Another noise of distress draws his attention back to the cause of his awakening. Lew's gaze traces the pale curves of Dick's back, dimly lit by the wan moonlight and slick with perspiration.

Dick has been having nightmares.

He'd seemed fine the first few weeks after moving in with Lew. Content. Happy, even. But the war had to catch up with him eventually. Lew is sometimes surprised that Dick had never broken, not even in Bastogne and Haguenau. He'd been so sheltered before signing up for the paratroops, a young man from the country, fresh out of college, who'd never seen anything worse than a scraped knee or broken arm.

He won't tell Lew what he dreams about. Lew thinks he can probably imagine.

Now, sitting up on his elbows, Lew tries to gather some form of context from Dick's distressed noises. He's shaking, shuddering violently like Lew remembers he had in Bastogne, but that could mean anything.

Lew curves a hand around Dick's shoulder. He flinches under the touch, pulling away unconsciously. Lew holds on, shakes him gently.

"Hey," he coaxes, "wake up, Dick. It's okay. C'mon."

Dick gasps and his eyes fly open, bright with unshed tears in the dark of the room. Lew stays, rubbing Dick's back soothingly as he breathes in tiny, sharp gasps. His skin is unbearably hot. The clock ticks softly as Dick struggles to catch his breath, still turned away from Lew. Lew knows that Dick is stubborn about this; he prefers to work out his problems alone, preferably in a state of complete solitude.

But Lew is beginning to doubt the effectiveness of Dick's alone time, at least in this case. Dick has been disappearing into some quiet place for hours on end with increasing frequency, but always comes back looking more lost than before.

Lew wishes he'd let him help.

It's no matter. Dick has fallen asleep again. Lew sighs and nudges up behind Dick, spooning him. He slips into a half-conscious state for a few hours. He hears the beginning of a storm outside; rain pattering on the roof and windows, a few rumbles of thunder. Lew zones out until Dick is tossing and turning yet again, his fingers clutching desperately at the bedsheets.

This time, Dick wakes himself up with a startled shout. He stares at Lew for a beat before a loud crash of thunder spooks him. Dick starts badly, his wide blue eyes locking somewhere over Lew's head, seeing something Lew knows isn't there. Lew moves a hand to Dick's face, cupping his cheek and gently turning his gaze away.

"Dick," he says softly, "come home."

Some of the focus returns to Dick's eyes and his gaze drops. He sighs heavily, shy with shame and embarrassment. Lew strokes his cheek, wipes away a stray tear.

"You're safe." He murmurs. "I've got you."

Lew knows that Dick will talk when he's ready, but it hurts when he doesn't speak now, instead turning away from Lew, clearly uncomfortable. He crawls out of bed and disappears into the bathroom. Lew sits up with a weary sigh, listening as the toilet flushes and the sink runs for a few minutes longer than usual - Dick must be washing his face, surely scrubbing away the evidence of his weakness.

Lew casts a glance towards the window. The sky is beginning to brighten, but it's still grey with the storm. There's a flash of lightning that briefly illuminates the room when Dick slides back in under the covers. He looks ghostly in the unnatural light.

"Lew?" His voice is a sad imitation of its usual melodic cheer, raspy and frayed at the edges. Lew turns to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"Dick, you don't have to apologize." Lew manages a weak smile. He's not sure what to say to make Dick believe him, so he pulls him into a tight hug. He's startled to find that Dick begins shuddering in his arms, suddenly fighting to stifle a sob. Lew strokes a hand down the back of his head and presses a kiss to his pale shaking shoulder.

The dam bursts.

Dick cries quietly into his chest, and Lew is so unfamiliar with Dick expressing such vulnerability that he's momentarily frozen in shock. He recovers and rubs Dick's back and shoulders soothingly, his heart aching for his friend. His lover. He's not unfamiliar with this kind of grief; he'd broken down once after Landsberg. Lew understands the magnitude of what Dick had carried on his shoulders for the last three years better than anyone. He's trying to be here for Dick now, to return the favor.

Dick keens softly, whispering Lew's name through shuddering breaths. He's trying to talk, but he's too wound up the get the words out. Lew isn't sure if he wants to hear them, but he doesn't allow himself to discourage Dick from opening up.

"Just breathe, Dick. We've got all morning."

"I dreamt I lost you," Dick divulges shakily. "I-In Carentan. Bastogne. Like those people in the camps. I was too late, I couldn't save you. I couldn't save any of them."

"I'm fine, Dick. I'm right here, see?" Lew grasps Dick's hand in his own, intertwining their fingers.

"I know," Dick exhales sharply. "I know. But it was worse. It- it felt real. I've been dreaming about the war, but…this is different. It's not getting any better. I thought it'd go away."

"You're expecting too much too soon," Lew says. "It's- you've only just started having these dreams, Dick. Sometimes they don't go away at all." Dick sniffles miserably, and Lew feels awful for saying it. With a hand on his jaw, Lew tilts Dick's face up and presses a chaste kiss to his thin lips.

Dick kisses back, parting his lips with a soft sigh. Lew trails kisses along Dick's jaw and down his neck, drags his lips along the ridge of his collarbone. Dick moans low in his throat. His hands find Lew's shoulders in the dark, holding on to Lew as if he were an anchor in the turbulent sea of his own grief.

"I love you, Lew," he whispers brokenly

"I love you too, Dick." Lew pauses, frowning. "You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." Dick sniffles, scrubs the tears away with the back of his hand. "I was just...thinking."

"You think too much, sometimes," Nix remarks. "You shouldn't blame yourself, Dick. You couldn't save everyone. You did the best you could have, in your situation, and you deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else does."

Dick's jaw clenches beneath Lew's fingers, trembling, and he looks away. Lew gently turns his head back to face his and plants a kiss on Dick's lips.

"It'll get better, Dick," Lew promises. "I'll make sure of it."


End file.
